Sunday, June 12, 2011

We don't talk enough...

Yes Alice, criticize complicate and be upset with me.

My writing has been sparse as of late largely because there hasn't been much to say. Me and P are still separated despite the fact that he's driving me insane with his inane comments about the move.  I guess this is just one of many lessons that needs to be learned in the art of marriage.

My instrument is back up at work. I hate to speak of it too much because I worry that I might jinx it. Yes, I'm even at work on this delightfully sunny Sunday because well...although the Lord did rest on this day he was just creating a universe, not trying to finish a PhD.
It's odd, I tell people I want to hang out, see people, but I haven't heard a peep from anyone. I think it's because people get busy with their own lives and assume that I'm just as busy. And while I's hard to be alone so much. I think so often people take for granted that they have a husband that lives in state to fight with. I think sometimes I head towards my friends that are military brats, that in my mind...know.

It's an interesting dynamic. I have been on this website too for my leg? AVM Survivors, while worthwhile has been both a source of anger and frustration and relief to me. You know when I was diagnosed I was so young, we had no idea. things are so different and the technology is advanced I feel like if I don't tell people what happened to me, they will be forced to deal with the same troubles and hardships. I don't quite know if I'm okay with that. I struggle with perception of how my leg is, but then on the flipside deny it so often.  I know it's what pushes me to work so hard, to try and do so much.

Some days I just wanna quit. Sleep some more. What am I talking about somedays? everyday.

Forever your servant-