Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Celebrating Another Year

So it's been another year, and while I realize that these letters often overlap, I find it harder and harder sometimes to not write you when things are so up in the air like this.

To say that I'm another year older is both a triumph and a curse. I figured that once I got married, I'd be having kids almost right away. Now I feel this terrible sense of urgency and there's not much that I can do now that I'm knee deep in this PhD except sit here and wait. Not that I understand fully why women throw themselves into the surge of pregnancy and all the crazy crap it does to the body...but hey. It's funny, when you're not married, all you want to be is married, when you're married all you're thinking about is having kids, and when you have kids all you think about is getting them out of the house.

If that's not a double edged sword I don't really know what is. But, hubby came back down and hung out for a whole week. The saga of us going to Connecticut happened, but at least we got a chance to see one another for longer than 2 days. We fell right back into the same routine we always had, we fought, we kissed, it was like actually being married. Isn't that weird that I can say that??? It feels like that sometimes, that I'm not married. Like people ask me that all the time, "how's married life treating you?" I don't have the heart to say the truth.

I wouldn't know.

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