Sunday, November 7, 2010

It's been too long..


My apologizes for my lack of contact as of recent, it's been a terribly long week and things have been very busy. Hubby went back to Chicago after the holiday weekend, and although the rally was supposed to be more about being moderate that turned out to be a big ol' let's try and be temperate and slow things down in DC to a freakin' halt!

I spent this past week working hard and hardly paying attention to life. This talk was enough to want to hurt someone severely. The man that I work with...I'm sure that I've told you about the selfish, egotistical, hypocritical, chauvanist....he's almost done with his PhD, which I think is horrible, but that's besides the point. So, I was working away all week and I take a face plant on my way into work Tuesday.

So, I have to drop off hubby Monday morning, 6:30 mind you, park the car, forget to put the thingy up, get a ticket...after working for 12+ hours, and this jerk is more important than my work??? It's hard to believe. If I've ever felt neglected, now is the time. So...I get in, having skinned up my good knee, and totalled my toes again. I was doing okay, worked hard, and then went out for election day. I've got to tell you, I had such high spirits for Mom, all the news reports figured we were a shoe in this year. Little did I know that Howard County would hold out this year. It was disappointing, sad, and confusing...but perhaps the hardest thing of all this year was how hard Mom took it.

She's always been so strong in my eyes, someone that would show vulnerable when necessary, but did her best for her girls. Worked hard, keep things honest, straightforward, and it is supposed to work out for you. That's how it was supposed to be. This year, it just wasn't the case. It makes me so sad to see her so upset. I think this may be a good thing for her, a new direction; but I hate to see her in so much pain. It's one of those things where you just know I just wish sooner rather than later I just wish...

...I know that in my heart of hearts I'll never be able to repay the countless hours, days, weeks, years she gave me. I'll never be able to walk into her arms with a baby of my own and say more than anything...thank you. Thank you for the work, the heartache, the pain that you endured for me to make me the woman that I am. I'll never ever be able to give her back the time that she could have been working hard and saving, she was in the hospital with me. I can't give that back, but all I can do is work as hard as I possibly can to give it all back to her.

I just wish sometimes that life would work quicker than it is.

Forever your servant-

1 comment:

GeekHiker said...

That's the thing about life, I think: we can never pay it back fully to those we owe. The best we can hope for is to pay it forward instead...