Alice-
It's so weird, I've gotten to the point now with all this health mess, that well....I'm at a loss.
I told you that I had been going to that plastic surgeon. No...not for that, don't think that...it's for the wounds on my toes that developed shortly after my physical therapy started. It's so disheartening because it was the thing that stopped me from being active, or as active as I can be. It's hard to even think about, because it was the 1st time I had been told to stop something...and I actually did it. I guess the idea of an artery or vein being opened up to the skin kind of scared me.
It's the toxicologist in me, I'm worried about infection. So.....Dr. V recommended this plastic surgeon. He's a real in your face type guy. Dr. Luethke. Now, let it be said here...he's a decent guy. His intentions are in the right place. He was trying to get me through some of the bullshit. I get that. But, with a certain amount of gestures, it gets to the point that it gets well...weird. He initially started talking about a doctor in Colorado. I very gently in the beginning said, "You know, I am a graduate student, I'm on an extremely limited budget, I'm doing my best as it relates to my health, but at this point I'm not ready and thereby I'm not going to Colorado." He acted like he understood, but I don't think he did. The next time, he mentions it again. And again, and again. I finally raised my voice at him and said, "I'm really sorry, but there's nothing that you can say that will push me to get me out to Colorado anytime soon."
Here's the thing. I understand that it's one time or another, I get that. I get that his intentions were in the right place, but he was convinced that he knew more than I did. Now, I recognize that you're probably thinking that I threw the bitch on and called it a day. But, it wasn't that. I have very definitive feelings about quality of life. I'm not a brilliant student by any means, but I'm not a moron either. It was frustrating and hard to handle because I'm sure that all he was thinking was that I didn't wanna have another procedure. Lemme tell you, you know this...I've had these procedures for years. I'm not scared of it, I'm ready for it! It was a hard thing that Dr. Malloy left. I was so unhappy having to actually drive up to Connecticut just to find out that he couldn't treat me anymore.
I was at a loss. I didn't know where to go. But let me tell you this. No crazy doctor is going to tell me how to do my own treatment my own life. It's crazy like.
As always, forever yours-
M
No comments:
Post a Comment